I was supposed to fly back to Israel yesterday evening, but I didn’t. All the tension and violence in the region makes me too uneasy.
For now I’m working from Sweden, where we haven’t had a war for about 200 years. I’m starting to realize how lucky we are.
I’ve been in Israel for about four weeks now, so thought I’d summarize some of my impressions.
1. Hebrew is a beautiful language. My favorite words so far are Shablol which means “snail”, and Schlulit which means “water on the street after it has rained”. It doesn’t rain much, so I guess they want to make the most of it when it does. So pronounce it Schlulit!
2. Hebrew is completely impossible to understand. There’s no resemblance to anything I’ve heard before, except when they say goodbye. Then they say “Bye bye”. Gareth was so confused by the language that he said “Mazal Tov” (congratulations) to everyone, convinced it meant thank you.
3. Hebrew writing looks like what a kid who can’t write would write when he pretends to write. When I get a receipt in a restaurant, I always turn it upside down, because I’m sure the waiter gave me it in the wrong direction (which they don’t).
4. All leased cars are made by Mazda, and all leased Mazdas are Mazda 3s. I’d estimate Mazda’s 3’s market share to 97%.
5. Swedes have a good reputation here. Saying that a girl is “Schwedit” means she’s a hot blonde, no matter where she comes from. Apparently, this means that all porn movies have “Schwedit” in the title (but Russians acting in the movie).
6. The women in Israel are as beautiful as anywhere else, but of a different kind. You start talking to someone and ask what she does, and she says something like “Oh I’ve just finished 4 years in the military, where I was the commander of 20 male soldiers and worked non-stop for days, handling life or death situations”. If they ask what I do, I say “nothing special” and go away.
7. It’s easy to be healthy here. Usually I have pizza, red wine and ice cream on Sundays. Here I have hummus, olives, falafel, pita bread, and MAYBE a banana.
People outside Scandinavia usually have a hard time understanding my name, but here in Israel, they nod and smile and say “Oh, like Nils HOLGERSSON!”, with perfect pronunciation. The story of the young Swede flying high on a goose is one of the most popular children shows ever shown in Israel, and everybody loves to comment on it.
I can’t fully remember the story, but reading about it now I must say I like Nils’ attitude: ”his chief delight was to eat and sleep, and after that he liked best to make mischief”.
The combination of happy Hebrew singing and Swedish countryside in the clip below is quite fun.
I think quality of life is closely related to quality of lunch. Right now, I’m having some decent lunches. Let me tell you how I spend my lunch hour here in Bnei Atarot, Israel.
1. I always eat outside. It’s usually too hot to sit in the sun, so I sit in the shade.
2. I share the garden with some chickens and a bunch of wild cats. The cats are usually hungrier than me, especially the kittens, so I give them my leftovers. I’m not sure they like me yet, but they like the seafood.
3. Once I’ve finished eating, I take a walk. I pass by some nice looking trees, a few dogs, and school children waiting for their bus home. I walk along a dirt road, with the sun in my back. I feel far away from London.
